“I-80 Reopens after closure from storm pile-up” (Neal Whitman)

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housebound
solitaire played out
winter storms

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Headlines:

“I-80 Reopens after closure from storm pile-up” (Monterey Herald)

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Poem by Neal Whitman (see poet biographies). Read more by this poet.

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^ 4 Comments...

  1. Chen-ou Liu

    Your word choices, .housebound and solitaire, make the poem effective. Fresh imagery.

    Neal, a delight to read your poem.

    Chen-ou

  2. Neal Whitman

    Chen-ou,
    I take note of your haiku here and read your poems elsewhere because I consider you a connoinsseur of word smything: you weld words into fine shape. So when you comment on my word choices, it means a lot. And, as my editors at Getting Something Read remind me with the inscription on a ball cap they sent me, READERS RULE. So, “delight” in any reader is a writer’s reward.
    Amicus poeticae,
    Neal

  3. James Tipton

    Neal,
    I like the idea of your haiku a lot. I would prefer to begin with the setting–winter storms–and then build what happens because of that, letting “housebound” be implied (which to some degree it already is) by “winter storms” (which itself might be better singular, “winter storm,” to fix more securely “in place”) and having a middle line that that plays on both a first and third line, something like:

    winter storm
    for days
    playing sollitaire

    This is a nice haiku idea, Neal, and I hope to see more of your work.

    Jim

  4. Neal Whitman

    Jim,

    I love your haiku and am delighted that my haiku led you to write it. When I wrote my haiku, I had two images in mind: (1) stuck in the house alone, playing solitaire and (2) a series of winter storms, one after another. Those two together gave me a feeling. The miracle would be the Reader “seeing” those two images and “getting” a feeling… maybe even the same feeling I had. If all of that happens, it is a miracle. a big IF. It did not quite succeed with you. Readers Rule. I am counting the haiku you posted here working its miracle with other Readers. It is superb. Your hope to see more of my work are welcome words. It means a lot.

    Housebound in a series of storms right now pounding the California Coast,
    Neal

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