Roddy’s Film Companion: Europe! Europe!: Intimacy (page 12)
Wednesday — August 25th, 2010

Roddy’s Film Companion: Europe! Europe!: Intimacy (page 12)

ARGH MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!

I was really determined to learn to draw perspectivally by looking at space, rather than by using any drawing tricks or skills (like point perspective.) The same way I learned to draw people. It’s an experiment that’s yet to pay off, but the stuff I draw now doesn’t look anywhere as out-of-wack as this does, so I must have learned something since then. Since this is actually painful for me to look at and all. Also, I clearly didn’t plan anything (story of my life!) as can be evidenced by the way I drew speech bubbles over people’s faces and bodies back then.

This story is, more than anything, my first attempt at a “one-dialogue” narrative. Not sure if it failed or flew, since I never got round to publishing it in the physical world, so be brutal, cos I need to know.

xx rk

Places to go:

The Beginning of this story.

The Beginning of a different story.

The Beginning of a different story again.

It's a comic about Roddy McDowall!

I know, I know.

Look, I just keep forgetting to take my folio to work, so I can scan some stuff on my break. Also, there’s a lot of hate out there for webcomics that don’t update properly so part of me wants to be cantankerous and avoidy just because I can. Let me get get record straight here, y’all: there is no way I will ever make a living from art. This allows me to rule my own webcomics fifedom in the manner I see fit.

But here’s some stuff to tide you over:

1: You should totes go and download issue 4 of Radio as Paper if you haven’t already. I have an article in it – it’s part one of my American Triptych, even. Before I wrote about 2012 and BSG and the end of American Days, I wrote about Bruce Springsteen, and the case for judicious nationalism. Here is the first paragraph:

If I had to pick one song to explain to you what Bruce
Springsteen was all about, I’d pick ‘Reason to Believe’. It’s
the last song on Nebraska, the four-track acoustic album
that I usually use to make a convert out of a critic. Patriotic
pop trash, is he? (this is how the argument always goes.) Not
on this fucking album, bub. On this album, he is Woody
Guthrie. Yes, Woody Guthrie. Okay, so maybe every song
isn’t written in ‘D’, but this land is for surely his fucking
land. Listen to the damn album! (I get quite forceful here,
because I’m usually drunk by the time I put the record on
the turntable, hence my judicious use of the word “fucking”.)
Listen to this, motherfucker! And learn!

2. God fucking damn I miss geology. This is what the class of 2007 made for their end of year thingie. It is HILARIOUS, and for me, bitter sweet.

Note: Michael Hannah is a professor at VUW.

Good Advice #3: You can’t take a vacation from yourself

Good Advice #3

“You can’t take a vacation from yourself.”

Terry Fleming, at  Maraetai Beach, 2009

I met Terry through Dylan Horrocks (they’re married, and like many married couples, live in the same house.) She is a lecturer in youth healthcare and youth mental health, a social worker and a savvy dame. She dropped this gem when I was angsting my shit out up in Auckland this one time. I think I was halfway through ‘Emissary’ or some shit and collapsing into piles of self-hate at a moment’s notice (partly because I still hadn’t told my husband I was writing it, partly because I was over identifying with the character. A lot of things were going on.) Also, Dylan and I spent the entire time I was there talking about American politics and horrible wars, which probably didn’t help much (even though I loved every minute of it, like the sick freak that I am.)

Look, Terry and Dylan probably have normal problems like normal people, and it would be wrong to idealize them, but that day or so I spent with them made me wish they would adopt me anyway. It was this whole… it was sunny and the sea was RIGHT THERE, and their kids were lovely, and even the dog was friendly, and at lunchtime neighbors came over and chatted about family and politics and stuff, and I was all, like, “seriously, can I live here?” Also seriously, didn’t Terry give me great advice? All my fantasies, whether they’re sex ones, or not-working ones, all of them involve somehow not being me. That’s what I imagine, when I can imagine anything. Not being me, and not living my life, and just… well, taking a vacation from myself. This is why I thought it was so great – cuz it actually doesn’t matter what I do, where I go, whom I fuck, how good my critical theory is. I will still be me, and I will still have horrible angst. And so the only solution to this horrible angst is to UNDERSTAND THIS and WORK ON IT!

It also helped that Terry said this in a resigned, kind of amused way, like she’d thought about it a lot, giving me the impression that something about vacationing away from self is not an uncommon component of fantasy. It was so good I almost made it the subtitle of my novel. You can’t take a vacation from yourself, you guys. Which is why you have to work on vacationing WITH yourself.

P.s.: I would have put some links to, plus a picture of Terry, in this post, but I’m not sure that she would like it – most of the people I’ve written about on this blog have a deliberate arts/politics internet presence that already puts their pix & dox in so many places that it would be a crime NOT to steal them, but Terry only appears on facebook and her work related sites. For now I’ll assume that’s how she wants it to stay, and not link anything.

Anyway, you can haz beautiful Maraetai as a consolation.

A Kiwi at my table: Banal nationalism in food advertising in Aotearoa/ New Zealand.

Into: I found this essay on my student hard drive the other day – it was written for a media paper, and I’d kind of forgotten about it. It’s one of those essays that I wrote in a rush of anti-patriotic rage about shit that really pisses me the fuck off. Thought I’d post it here – mostly for Dean. Hi Dean! I hope you read this and remember all those chats we had about that fucking sauce ad. Yeah, fuck you, Watties. Also, fuck you, Tip Top. Your advertisement about how fat free icecream necessitates cruelty to children cuz we’d “have to find something else to feel guilty about” was also fail.

Oh, though, it’s written like an assessment and not like a piece of writing, so sorry about that.

***

The following essay concerns two advertisements for food products which have been shown on New Zealand television, and their contribution to the daily construction of the ‘imagined community’ of Aotearoa/New Zealand. As I will argue, despite the outward innocuousness of the studied texts, their representation of “kiwis”, and the casual, interpellative way in which it is achieved, participates in a far broader and more problematic system of rhetoric that it may otherwise appear – simply put, that these advertisements, and others like them, assist in the constitution of an identity that precipitates racism and war.


Relating such subtle and commonplace examples to such extremes may at first appear surplus or excessive, and it would, of course be seriously reductive to consider the two advertisements I will discuss as responsible for all the evil done in the name of the nationalism. However, as Michael Billing points out in Banal Nationalism, it is possible to read such things as advertisements as representative of a much larger problem, because it is precisely the most daily and apparently unobtrusive ‘flaggings’ of nationhood that provide the ground, the bank of images, the ideology and, most importantly the passion that supports the kinds of nationalist extremes which can arise in times of crisis, such as war or recession. As Billig takes pains to point out, while the word nationalism tends to be associated with fringe minorities, and commonly thought of as representative of ‘dangerous and powerful passions’ and ‘extraordinary emotions,’ it is equally common in mainstream western democracy. Citing such conflicts as the first Gulf War and the British engagement in the Falkland Islands/Maldives, Billig describes how a rhetoric privileging and normalising the importance of the, or a, nation has been used by Presidents, Prime Ministers and newspapers alike to support a call to arms to the populace (whether literally, in the sense of enlisting in the army, or ideologically, in the sense of offering political support.) For despite the fact that nation-states are historically recent, despite the fact that they are difficult to define, far from being the premise of tin-pot militias or the extreme right, describing the nation and putting forth that description as superior to all others is the bread and butter of the modern eve of battle address. Secondly, Billig argues, the modern conception of the nation is employed not just to support specific nations, but to support, and justify actions in the name of, the very idea of nations. As he writes, modern citizens are called to make, and, perhaps more importantly, to justify ‘ultimate sacrifices’, as the cause of nationhood is greater than life itself. As he puts it, ‘the moral aura of nationalism is invoked: heads will be nodded, flags will be waved and tanks will roll.’ For these reasons, Billig considers it a mistake to regard nationalism as the premise of as something that ‘occurs “there” on the periphery, not “here” in the centre,’ for, as he argues, it is certainly, and constantly ‘here.’


Billig’s conjecture is, as I have indicated, that ‘the intermittent crises depend on existing ideological frameworks.’ While the colloquial use of the term nationalism can perhaps be read as the extreme demonstration of the following, it is in fact built from a framework of recognisable symbols and signs that constitute national identity. These signs exist as background noise to our daily life, and can be called upon when it is (seen to be) necessary to care about them. Billig describes this background construction as ‘banal nationalism’, which he delineates from the common usage of nationalism by using the analogy of a flag: during war, when nationalism is invoked, the flag is flying proudly at the forefront of the army. During peacetime, it may hang innocuously on the front of a post office. This post office flag is representative of banal nationalism – quiet, usual, expected, but unarguably there, and constantly engaged in reproducing the whatever nation it serves. For the salient point of this delineation is not what is delineated between, but that which remains the same; regardless of how it is being invoked, the flag always means the same thing. It means “this nation.”

Given this framework of banal nationalism, it is possible – and perhaps necessary – to examine the most day to day of experiences in order to attempt to locate national identity being constructed or constituted – or as Billig calls it, in reference to his analogy, ‘flagged’. Relating to Aotearoa/New Zealand, there are as many sites for potential study as anywhere else in the world, but in order to narrow the thesis, my line of inquiry is directed towards the way food is sold. For this purpose I have selected two advertisements for food products containing what (arguably) are common tropes of “kiwi-ness” in their sales pitches. As I will argue, these two advertisements (and by proxy, all of their ilk) contribute to a very specific and rigid nationalist grounding.

These two advertisements are as follows: one for Watties brand tomato Sauce, the other for Tip Top brand “Supersoft” white bread. They both refer specifically to New Zealand and New Zealanders through the use of terms like ‘kiwi’ and ‘this country’ and both use techniques to hail the viewer into regarding themselves in the context of their national identity. Through direct address of actor to camera (in the case of “Supersoft”), and the use of the term “you” (as in “Watties Sauce”,), these commercials serve to interpellate the viewer into the subject position of being a “kiwi” or being not a “kiwi”. By attempting to associate the products with what is assumed to be the national character, or national habit of Aotearoa/New Zealand, the advertisements in fact reproduce and in so doing constitute the character that is thought of. In so doing, these advertisements serve the same purpose as the flag at the front of the post office.

Banal nationalism can be visually observed in both advertisements as they both have more or less identical settings. “Tomato Sauce,” shows images of children at barbeques with bare feet, the beach and other outdoor settings, as does “Supersoft” (though in “Supersoft”, it is only one backyard in which the children are barefoot.) Outdoorsy, “no frills” attitudes are presented in both advertisements as typically – and properly – “kiwi”, and in this many observers would agree (that they are thought of as typically “kiwi”, not that they necessarily are.)

This can be seen in both “Supersoft” and “Watties Sauce”, in the positing of characters comprised of traditionally “kiwi” traits in against some other, less appealing trait, which is presumably a trait associated with other countries and other values. In “Watties Sauce” this becomes apparent in once scene, in which a “typical” – that is, he is white, middle aged and casually/rurally dressed – Kiwi male is shown applying the aforementioned sauce to a sushi roll while the jingle exclaims, as mentioned, that “you’ll never be a kiwi ’till you love our Watties sauce.” What is important in this scene is not that this man, demonstrably kiwi within the diagesis of the advertisement (since he – clearly – loves his Watties Sauce,) likes this particular brand of ketchup, but that he loves it at the expense of his experience of another culture. He is a “kiwi”, which means he cannot eat Japanese food as Japanese people might intend him to. Rather, he must “kiwify” it lest it breach his national character. In this way, community is ‘imagined’, just as Benedict Anderson would suggest; to eat Japanese food would be “not kiwi”, therefore, by that limit, we can establish what a “kiwi” is. There are connotations here that suggest that the eating of food sans sauce would cause the man to become feminised (and thus “soft” or “effete”) especially since his dining companion, a female, appears to be enjoying the dinner without any help from Watties. There is also a contrast with the assumed national character of the Japanese, which is shown in the commercial to be up-market and highly ritualistic (the Japanese waitress appears in full national costume.)


These connotations of the effeteness of being “not kiwi”are called upon and even more explicitly expressed in “Supersoft.” This commercial begins with a young woman asking a child at a party who has just won a race. When she is told ‘mum says we all won,’ she then turns to the camera, and, looking at the viewer announces ‘this country’s going soft.’ Following this pronouncement, she then explores the child’s birthday party, speaking with children and parents and repeatedly being appalled at further outbreaks of “softness”. Apparently, according to Tip Top, New Zealanders have been spending all together too much time calling a spade a racist epithet, for playing “cowboys and Native Americans” (rather than “Indians”), wishing to eat free range eggs (instead of battery) and wearing a helmet while riding a bicycle are all regarded as “soft.” These actions are treated to eye-rolling and a disdainful shake of our protagonist’s head. The advertisement’s conjecture, as told by the young woman, is that Tip Top white bread should be the only soft thing in a New Zealander’s life. “Enough is enough, New Zealand,” she tells the camera, as the viewer is called upon to examine whether or not they have strayed far enough from the national character to be considered “soft” or otherwise “not kiwi”.

What is interesting about “Supersoft” is that it has side-stepped the association of masculinity and “kiwi” by placing a woman in the role of speaking to New Zealand. Robin Laws in particular has discussed the ways in which New Zealand identity can be constructed in a way that excludes women, meaning women are either required to place themselves in opposition or assume a masculine role when placing themselves in the framework of national identity. It could certainly be argued that this is happening here, though at the same time, the complications of delineating a “masculine role” are myriad. What is certainly true is that Tip Top considered it in their interest to represent a “kiwi” in the form of a woman. This does not, however, even remotely challenge the issue at the heart of banal nationalism, which is that ‘flagging’, constitution of both the “is” and the “isn’t” of national identity occurs on a daily basis. Furthermore, even when it appears to be little more than a hook to sell a product, it still performs a constitutive function which serves to declare both what “kiwis” should be and to sort them from the “not kiwis” even within our own social structures, and even where statements are presented in such chummy, casual ways so as to appear “common sense.”

“Common sense,” of course, is precisely where ideology hides. The most dangerous argument, as Billig points out, and as many cultural theorists would second, is the argument that disguises itself as natural, because that is the argument which has the power to convince without appearing to do anything. Billig’s supposition is that, regardless of the challenge to the traditional nation posed by postmodernism, there is still plenty of power and there are still plenty of guns. There also seems to be – still – plenty of war (in fact, an entirely new Gulf War – and an entirely new President Bush – have risen since Billig was writing.) But since Aotearoa/New Zealand, being of little strategic importance to anyone, is unlikely to take on or be attacked by a global power (though plenty of troops from New Zealand have been sent to foreign conflicts,) I would posit that the most likely occurrence of extreme nationalism over the next few years is (or will continue to be) the marginalisation of those who fall into the category of “not kiwi”. For example, the recent economic crisis has prompted “kiwi jobs for kiwi workers” arguments from write-in commenters, as well as some prominent workers unions, which call for those not born in “here” to move away (or “back where they came from”) to create more jobs for those born in New Zealand. No matter that many of these immigrants have families, social networks and lives in New Zealand. No matter that migrants are lured to New Zealand during prosperous times with a promise of eventual residency. In this line of argument, this nation has been constituted, and “they” are not of it – “they” do not form one of the building blocks of “our” national identity. Billig argues that it behoves the reader to take on an attitude of ‘watchful suspicion,’ where nationalist flaggings are concerned, and regarding that advice, readers of this essay, and, I might add, this author, might be inclined to agree. Banal, as Billig tells us, does not equal benign.

Works cited:

Anderson, Benedict, Imagined Communities, London, New York: Verso, 1991

Appadurai, Arjun, ‘Disjuncture and Difference in the Global Cultural Economy’ in Meenakshi Gigi Durham and Douglas Kellner (eds.), Media and Cultural Studies: Key Works, Oxford: Blackwell, 2006

Billig, Michael, Banal Nationalism, Sage: London, 1995

Kiwiana http://www.eske-style.co.nz/kiwiana.asp, accessed 14/05/09

Law, Robin, in ‘Maculinity, Place and Beer Advertising in New Zealand: The Southern Man Campaign’, in New Zealand Geographer, 53:2, 1997


The term ‘imagined community’ is Benedict Anderson’s term for describing the way in which a nation exists. As he explains, all communities, including nations, are built from a series of ideas and imaginings (Imagined Communities, London, New York: Verso, 1991.) For example, if I consider myself a “New Zealander”, I am constituting myself without having necessarily met every other New Zealander, so my idea of what a New Zealander is is just that, an idea. While nations are commonly thought of as being defined by physical boundaries, this is, in fact, recent, and not entirely true. Arjun Appadurai, who discusses the way in which many “nations” exist in only scant relation to geography posits the term ‘groups-with-ideas-about-nations’ for discussing nationhood sociologically (‘Disjuncture and Difference in the Global Cultural Economy’ in Meenakshi Gigi Durham and Douglas Kellner (eds.), Media and Cultural Studies: Key Works, Oxford: Blackwell, 2006.)

Billig, Michael, Banal Nationalism, Sage: London, 1995, p6

Billig, 1995, p5

Billig, 1995, p11

Billig, 1995, p4

Billig, 1995, p6

Billig, 1995, p5

Billig, 1995, p6

Assuming one can take this as at all indicative, a large list of “Kiwi” things appears here: Kiwiana http://www.eske-style.co.nz/kiwiana.asp, accessed 14/05/09. Watties sauce is, in fact, included.

For example, Robin Law, in ‘Maculinity, Place and Beer Advertising in New Zealand: The Southern Man Campaign’, in New Zealand Geographer, 53:2, 1997

Anderson, 1991, p6-7

Without wishing to set off too many liberal alarm bells (it’s almost certainly a coincidence,) ‘enough is enough’ was the T-shirt slogan adopted by the Destiny Church in their 2005 march on parliament to protest the Civil Unions bill, that is, the first state recognised partnership contract that could legally be made between heterosexual and homosexual couples. The slogan referred to, as one church member told me when I was there (I was marching for the bill and against the church, please note!) the fact that they were “sick of the gays trying to take over everything.”

The party that placed “Supersoft” on YouTube (www.youtube.com) made the follwing comment with its placement: ‘it’s true. NZ is becoming to soft and PC.’

Law, 1997, p26

Billig, 1995, p174 -7

For example: ‘Get rid of migrant workers first: unions’, The Press, http://www.stuff.co.nz, 17/03/2009, accessed 13/05/09, John Braddock, ‘New Zealand unions scapegoat immigrant workers’, World Socialist Website, http://wsws.org, 05/05/09, accessed 06/05/09, ‘Fewer temporary work visas to be issued’, One News, published on http://tvnz.co.nz, 24/03/09, accessed 13/05/09, NZPA, ‘Factory accused of favouring migrants’, The New Zealand Herald, http://wwwnzherald.co.nz, 24/03/09, accessed 13/05/09, Lyn Humphries, ’Migrant jobs firm probed’, Taranaki Daily News, http://stuff.co.nz, 23/03/09, accessed 13/05/09

Billig, 1995, p177

Billing, 1995, p6

Other people’s songs, but my own Pyjamas

During today’s avoidance of my dissertation, I discovered the cache of videos I’ve made of myself playing the banjo in my PJs. Mostly I did this so I could listen back to myself and see what I was doing wrong (as you’ll notice, I make mistakes even in the few videos – of many lesser videos – that I thought might be worth sharing) and also I did it out of a bizarre exhibitionist desire that I’m yet to fully understand. But anyway, here are five videos. By way of explanation, my voice sounds like it does because I learned to sing in church. But not a black American gospel church. The white, Irish Catholic kind. I do a mean version of ‘The Servant Song’ – maybe I should make a recording of that?

All My Little Words, by The Magnetic Fields

I love these guys. I love this song too. I love the way everything Stephen Merritt writes is equal parts epically lovely and endearingly lame.

Annabelle, by Gillian Welch

wish I were Gillian Welch. Because it is apparent that I was figuring out how to play this song as I was recording it, and while Gillian Welch might be able to pull that shit off, I can’t.

Some fucking licks

Maybe this will be my own song one day (I do, upon occasion, write songs, I just don’t have any recordings of them as yet.) Though actually, as I listen back, I think I’m just cheatin’ cos it’s clearly ‘Worried Man Blues’ I’m riffin’ on there.

Gaeta’s Lament, by Bear McCreary

Yes, I am such a fucking nerd that I learned how to play this song. You can too, if you like. I didn’t get the lyrics right, either. It should be “dark and laughing rain.” I think the ending was wrong too. But anyway… Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica.

Hit Me Baby, One More Time, written for and usually sung by Britney Spears

This song is creepy when you sing it in a downbeat way. Seriously. I’m not sure she’s getting hit one more time with “love.”

UPDATE: One bluegrass song is obligatory.

Good Advice #2: French fry when you pizza, you’re gonna have a bad time

I am a person for whom the world’s smallest violin continuously plays. I whine a lot, often via email. Or, hey, on this blog.  But this is why there are people who give wise counsel. This little series is a token of my appreciation to those people.

Good Advice #2

“French fry when you pizza, you’re gonna have a bad time.”

South Park, episode S602

My feelings about South Park go up and down. Sometimes I really like it (The Britney Spears episode, for example) other times (the motorcycle “fags” episode) I just feel like sending Matt and Trey DVDs of Justin Timberlake’s Cry Me a River, since it seems like a lot of the episodes are about *whine* how annoying it is that *whine* not everybody is cool enough to be cynical like them. It must be so hard to be Matt and Trey in a world where not everyone is a privileged American white-boy :’(

But they’ll always have a special place in my heart, if only for saying this:

This is good advice. Really. Not just for skiing. Since basically what it says is, if you set yourself up with a structure that cannot perform the task you ask it to, it won’t work. French fry cannot help you stop, and pizza cannot help you go. If you start an argument where the first proposition is unresolvable, you’re gonna have a bad time. If you’re trying to reassure yourself against a false assumption, you’re gonna have a bad time. If you tell yourself that nobody likes you, even though it is physically impossible to read people’s minds and know for sure, you’re not gonna have fun skiing.

My husband and I say this to each other regularly, often about destructive thinking patterns, particularly those built around those special, cyclic logical fallacies at the centre of low self-esteem. What we do is, after identifying the problem at the heart of the emotionally flawed argument our beloved is making about why they’re a shitty person doomed for failure, is to say: “…you french fry when you pizza, you’re gonna have a bad time.” “Yes but this is all based on you thinking you’ve got to be perfect. French fry when you pizza…”, “Uh huh, sure, but what I’m hearing is that we must solve all of the world’s problems by tomorrow. French fry when you pizza…”,  ”trying to reassure yourself you’re cool by making South Park episodes that are basically you arguing with your critics? French fry when you pizza, guys, you’re gonna have a bad time.”

Even if you’re not reading my EPIC FANFICTION EPIC…

… I would still recommend checking the About Influence page from time to time. The reason for this is, in lieu of actually writing about why I wrote what I wrote, I’ve temporarily elected to post a selection of Awesome Things that I was thinking about when I was writing it. So far there’s Hollis Frampton’s Nostalgia and a Warren Zevon fan video. Yup. Not long before I start posting epic rants about American Empire, and normative masculinity/patriotism!!

Look what I drew!

I haven’t used MS paint for a while, being, you know, a mac user. But there I was today, and there it was, and I mouse drew what I was, naturally, thinking about: myself!

Enjoy the purple!

Songs I wish my Dad had sung me

As Kurt Vonnegut Jnr. once wrote, children of suicides seldom do well. My own father took this particular option when I was eleven or so, and I guess I’ve done variably. I was angry with him for a long time, but eventually I started to miss him. One of the things I miss is that he used to be really fucking good on the 12 string. He sang beautifully too, and his music taste was about the same as mine eventually became. He had a band for a while (he was at University in Dunedin in the late seventies and early eighties, after all) but I haven’t got any recordings of that, nor any of his own songs, if he ever wrote them. The only tape I’ve got has him playing and singing ‘House of the Rising Sun’ and ‘Sounds of Silence’ like a true-blue middle-class hippie. I play guitar and banjo but he and I never played together, though sometimes back then I used to sing along – I sang in church, and with choir, and for Christmas, and sometimes with him. Though not often, since he preferred an audience to a team.

So this post is for Dr. David Kenealy. There’s a lot I wish we could have said to each other, Dad. Here are some of the things I wish you’d said to me.

First off: Loudon Wainwright III, Rufus is a Tit Man

Okay guys, I know this is a creepy as fuck song, but this seemed far more appropriate than any of those ones where Loudon tries to prove that he doesn’t *ahem* suck as a parent. Dad didn’t smoke, of course (because it caused cancer) but he was a giant child, just like Loudon, as well as being reflexively sexist. I’d love it if, somewhere, there was record of him admitting that!

And while we’re listening to Wainwright, I’ll admit that I prefer his cover of

Peter Blegvad’s, Daughter

It’s the line “I lost every time I fought her” that really gets me. In my little girl heart, I sometimes imagine my dad would have been proud of how smart I am. And I know we would have fought like fuck about politics. But I would have won, because everything I believe is a logical extension of things he taught, or failed to teach me. He, like me, was a science fiction humanist, so he wavered between accidental libertarian-nerdcore and bleeding heart fucking liberal. In some quarters, particularly in low-income areas that weren’t getting the attention they needed from public health, my dad is still remembered as a hero. In this fantasy, he offers me his respect.

As I say, I’ll admit to preferring the Loudon Wainwright III cover, and I was going to compound the uncomfortably intimacy of this post by using on of the many YouTube vids made of people’s daughters, to the song (usually as gifts, apparently.) There are so many, but I couldn’t decide which one. Not to mention the fact that it seemed a bit off to imbricate a loving gift to a child into an adult’s blog post about suicide. So you’ve just got Loudon. (UPDATE: And bonus daughter, Lucy Wainwright Roche, singing with him on ‘You Can’t Fail Me Now,’ if you care to stick around.)

Next up we have Miley & Billy Ray Cyrus singing Butterfly fly Away

As my husband puts it, Miley is singing to everyone else, but Billy Ray is singing to her.

And now for Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, The Rest of the Dream

I wasn’t a planned child at all, it’s just that my dad was Catholic. But then, my mum says they really, really loved each other, so maybe it wasn’t all bad. Maybe they would have gotten married anyway, even without me. She says they were happy together, some of the time.

And then, Bruce Springsteen’s Long Time Comin’

We’re all fucked up by our parents, you know. I might have been fucked up by mine, but they were fucked up theirs just as much. Dad and I might have talked about that, one day. We’re pretty similar. I’m a lot like my mum, but I’m my dad’s kid too: a combination of comic books, Warren Zevon, and being extremely suspicious of people that love you. The difference is, I’m trying to change. Dad might have done that too, maybe.

Lastly, Dave Dobbyn, Beside You

I always liked this song, even as I fully acknowledge its twee, advertisey kiwiana-ness. It’s just that lyrically, it reminds me of my Dad. My mum agrees, and in fact that’s why I first heard it.

You see, Dad was pretty useless a lot of the time. He was wildly intelligent, but he was also very selfish, and applying his intelligence to overcoming this selfishness, for his kids, or for whichever one of his wives, never really occurred to him. I think he regretted that though, (in fact, one assumes that committing suicide was probably indicative of some of those regrets.) But that’s kind of what this song is about.

Also, I like it because I remember travelling with him on the “blinding Desert Road” when I was little. Dad liked James Taylor a lot, and I remember him thrashing the shit out of ‘Fire and Rain’ while the sky got darker and the layers of rock seemed higher than I could see. They were shot through with orange sunlight, like the dusk was carrying them away to some other place. I was so small then that the world was huge, and my dad always drove like he was in a road movie.

My Dad did a lot of shit like it was a movie. Then it ended. I guess that was what happened. Movies end. So do blog posts.

Author rants about comics, politics

1. Do you guys read Drawing Silence? I forget if I’ve written about it on here before, but I was reminded that I might not’ve. Draw is a main man of mine, and his creepy, excellent and just all round fanfuckingtastic narrative piece Stillness has begun updating again. This may upset those of you who were right into the abstracts, but I know for sure they’re not gone for good. He’ll keep doing them, there’s more.

But did you see the last one? OMG wow. This is where… this is the kind of thing where Draw’s shit really starts to talk about the difference – or sameness? or imbrication? or multiple points of contact? – between static images, and images that approximate movement. There is SO MUCH movement in his work. But it is movement that talks about movement. And makes it. And has this kind of “means of production” thing going on. I don’t know. Go and have a look!

Anyway, he’s been on RFC a bit of late, commenting back and forth with me, and I figured, maybe some of you would like to know who he was. Pictured above: Draw and MVH,  joint winning the Eric Award for best webcomic 2010. That’s me on the left (as per), in what may be my worst picture ever.

2. I know I’ve written about this comic before, but I just want to mention it again. Heliothaumic is presently engaged in fictional/metaphorically hassling colonial state power, and in particular, the application of that power to any kind of dissent, even if only tangentally related (or related through paranoia.) Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so. Anyway, Robyn approves.

3. In relation, Robyn also approves of Te Mana Motuhake ō Tūhoe and Tino Rangatiratanga. And with Te Urewera being returned to Tūhoe custodianship. Of course, none of these things require my approval – they exist in the interests of, and through the valiant efforts of those people to whom they apply. All I will say is that, being a Pakeha kiwi, there’s absolutely no reservation in my heart about any of these. I don’t feel as if anything is being “taken away” from me when land is rightfully returned to the people who live on it, especially since Tūhoe never signed the treaty. Te Mana Motuhake & Tino Rangatiratanga simply don’t require me to say anything, other than that I am happy to have my support on public record, and to offer my assistance where and when it may be useful.

One of the ways it is useful, I sometimes think, is to firmly avoid every saying any kind of nonsense like “we’re all New Zealanders.” On some level it may be practically true, but like all categories, nationality is about descriptive limits rather than prescriptive blueprint, and especially, category is discursively formed. I’m not a New Zealander, by some people’s rationale. Despite being born here, I’ve read too many books and don’t like tomato sauce enough to be a real “kiwi”. Foucault’s Chinese encyclopaedia probably applies.

Oh, New Zealand. You do a good job of looking like a country, but really, you know, you’re a contested territory. It’d be great if we’d all admit that, and consider that the reason we move towards restitution with Tūhoe is because it is ethically right. Not because some great objective force in the sky requires that we act one way or the other, not because liberals have no brains, and not because nobody recognizes that a war was fought here, and to certain extent won, by the British army. But because regardless of what happened in the past, we’re presently engaged in making the future.

In that future, what I would like  is a world where ideas that weren’t mine (or from my cultural bias) and actions based on mutual compassion, honesty and trust were in steady supply.

4. For those of you curious about updates, rest assured. Today’s will be up by tonight. Peace out.

Good Advice #1: Haters are just a part of the game

I am a person for whom the world’s smallest violin continuously plays. I whine a lot, often via email. Or, hey, on this blog.  But this is why there are people who give wise counsel. This little series is a token of my appreciation to those people.

Good Advice #1

“Haters are just a part of the game.”

Coco Solid, at Wintec Hamilton’s Spark Festival, 2008

Jessica Hansell, otherwise known as hip-hop and comics artist Coco Solid is one of the coolest people I have ever met. I knew her work before then, of course (This is Not a Comic was simply too fantastic to ignore,) but I didn’t meet her until Spark ’08, an arts festival in Hamilton at which we were both speaking. That’s us in the pic above, btw.

This is not either of us. This is a T-Shirt model.

Oh, and also, Spark is awesome. I keep meaning to write about it, especially since they’re still going, and could totally use your support. It’s amazing that such a great, vibrant arts community exists in a town like Hamiltron, and the festival reflects both that community, and the manner in which the general spirit of small-town arts cooperation happens world-wide .  In that photo, she and I were having a back-and-forth onstage rant about How To Be Awesome, which particularly was about calling bullshit on NZ’s institutional racism. It was fun, it was wild, we were badass. And Coco’s hip-hop is just fucking boss.

Proof.

But anyway, Coco was speaking, and at a certain point, she dropped this gem – “haters are just a part of the game.”  The effect – of this incredibly prolific, incredibly powerful, incredibly cool woman standing on a stage and letting it drop that learning to have faith in what you, yourself were doing (especially when you, as Coco does, and I hope to do, deliberately make your work to engage with the politics of the nation) is hard, and continuous work for an artist – was dramatic. There’s no reason to be ashamed, I understood.  Hell, I wish I could say I’d taken that wholly onboard, because I still struggle with the fact that Haters Gonna Hate. But the fact remains, if you play the art game, some haters will hate. Some of them with reason, and some without. You must learn to accept this, young Padawan. Eventually.

Additionally, Coco also made frequent use of the phrase “gold dust” (as in “that shit is gold dust”) which I loved, and repeated for months afterwards. That’s not advice, but it’s still awesome.